L's harassment cased was dropped with the condition I agree not to contact L or come to her house (Kristen's), work or FS warehouse for 2 years as of last August. Before that I went to Thailand and Cambodia for one month each. I would have stayed longer but I had to show up for the last court date. I saw and learned a lot while there. I will give a much longer recap later. I then went to Burning Man where I was sabotaged by unknown forces once again. I'm over that as well now. I then went to the Gay Bay then up North to Earth Dance. I'm still in the mountains now. Probably heading to SF for a few days soon then Traveling to Vermont to see two of my best friends and back across Canada by train to BC. I'll be filling in the very big blanks soon.

My health is Great! My brain is in the best space it's been in in a while. Other than a few mental hiccups and ill aimed rants my soul is the most at peace it has been in a long time.

Thank You to everyone who has stuck by me through these turbulent times in my life. Those friends I've lashed out against or aimed my frustrations towards, I am truly sorry.

I wish the relief of suffering to everyone including those who wish me harm.

XO
Atomic

I am sick of the lies and misinformation. Tanya DeLeon is SOOOO full of shit it hurts. It really hurts because I thought we were friends but I learned today that a few more friends have defected due to misinformation. There is no re opened case, she has misquoted me and out right slandered me. She is completely irresponsible in her drunken/drug induced claims. My lawyer has advised me not to get into any specifics publicly for it may compromise my defense. I would be happy to discuss more specifically with anyone privately (when I get back to Austin) or by phone.

As far as the walking near l's house. I lived two blocks from there at my brothers house a month before she moved into Shanta's. I would walk to the 7/11 all the time. It was my hood 1st. I moved into M's to get away from her. She and RMS are the ones that staked out my house and called the police on me to have a warrant served before I could leave town for a year or more just so i couldn't do DPW. They are the ones sending "14 page letters" to the llc's of every Burn Event. I think a few people need some Drug Counseling and Psycho Therapy. They are trying to ruin my life because some uncle, brother or father touched them wrong or something. I am NOT him! Trumping up charges against me will not remove the pain of your child hood.

I even have a best friend of L, K, trumping up charges on me because L's charges are BS and not going to label me deviant enough to have me banned from burner events. It has gotten to the point that I would welcome the chance to defeat ALL these claims against me in court and clear my name legally. I will spend every cent I have on legal fees if necessary. Then I am going to start my civil suits and get that money back. I have given up on the Austin burner social scene in general but not all individuals. Between the Ostracizing, Lies, Malicious Rumors, and Misinformation I have NEVER had a chance to fairly defend myself to MOST people. I don't think most people are capable of being truly open minded or fair. People for some reason like to believe the worst about people. Thankfully, not everyone listens to rumors and gossip. They are still my friends. They are the ones that are judging me only by their experiences with me not gossip or vindictive ex gf or speed/coke addicted junior detectives.

Other than the fore mentioned BS my life is going VERY well now. I can't wait to get the legal shit cleared up so I can get on with the rest of my life which includes SE Asia for 6 months then moving to Cali. Can't wait to see my good friends when I get back to Austin and I can't wait even more to get the HELL OUT of Austin! I hate that my favorite city has been tainted by l and her posse. SF is my new favorite city.

This is my voice
but I am only whispering
The amazing vulgarity
of your style
invites men to think
of torturing you to death
but I am only whispering
We no longer wish to learn
what you know how to do
There is no envy left
If you understand this
you will begin to shiver
but I am only whispering
to my tomahawk
so that the image itself
may reduce you to scorn
and weaken you further

Please! Let me move on with my life. I am done with this faze. I truly have learned my lessons here. Thailand is calling me. I have more lessons to learn there.
XOXOXO
Atomic
Love

Of all the Nohari [http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Atomic%20Love] words used to describe me by others the one i just can't wrap my head around is cowardly. I have never been called a coward before. But I guess i should consider the source since they did sign it anon(ymous). In my opinion, unless your physical well being or freedom is on the line then public criticism such as calling someone cowardly anonymously is pretty cowardly or at least deserves less weight than someone willing to actually sign their names to their ideas. Thank you to all my friends that participated honestly and gave me their unemotionally wrapped opinion in order to help me get a better idea of how others think of me. I often get so wrapped up in my own head that I forget that every person is living in their own separate individual reality. I guess that's what makes the world so interesting and frustrating all at the same time.

Can't have the light without the dark.
I doubt I'll be too surprised.

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Atomic+Love

XOA

I'll play. this could be a learning experience for me.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Atomic+Love

I've decided that in order for me to grow and become the person that I want to be I can no longer entertain those who do not have my best interest at heart. I've decided that time and energy is precious and i need to focus it more on building friendships and love. That means we build each other up. Constructive criticism to ones face in private is one thing but secret rumors and backstabbing only hurt everyone. I consider this Black Magic. I am a Warrior and I love a good battle. I'm just trying to readjust my aim. I am on a mission to fight my own demons. If you are here only to feed my demons I have no time for you and you may be mistaken for the demon. I am in a period of transformation. I have faltered many times but it is ok I can pick myself up and dust off. So just think of me as a construction zone until further notice. Thank You to all those who have supported me through all my stupid shit. I will never forget you.
XO
Atomic

Well besides work being a little slow and my ex getting me kicked out of FS for the year life is OK. The saying "Hell hath no fury..." is an understatement. I have discovered that I truly have a Clan now. They are called the Wonder Lounge. I've discovered that I have a lot more people that care about me than I ever imagined. I've also discovered that some people I thought were family are NOT. Some people will throw friends away faster than a dirty diaper as soon as there is the least bit of controversy.

I would also like to take this time to pat myself on the back. I have not smoked a cigarette in almost two weeks. The Chantix (similar to Welbutrin but different) really helped but I've been off that for almost a week as well. On the meds thing, I've switched out the Sastiva because it was causing High Anxiety in my dreams and Fogginess during the day. I gave up one pill for three but it seems to agree with me a lot more. I now take 6 pill of four different meds daily. I still get night sweats sometimes but overall the side effects are much better.

The Woderlounge Fun(d) Raiser (Bambi-Q) is still ON this Saturday at Glenn's house. If you need directions just ask. It's very close to the Enchanted Forest.

I'm doing DPW again this year. Can't wait. After that I'm going to Thailand and beyond. Why waste any more time in Austin when there's a giant world for me still to see?

To everyone that has stuck by me and treated me like a real family, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have taught me what is to be loved.

This seems to be right on!

[Tarot.com Gemini Horoscope]
Your spirits lift now that the Moon is in fiery Leo. You are still in a rather serious phase, but you can see the benefits of the inner work you are doing. You needed to dig into your own spirituality to find a new direction. The process is ongoing, but your returning optimism is certainly reassuring.
Friday, January 5, 2007

My brother (Josh) and I are legitimately starting our own business. We've already bought Liability Insurance. We also have a referral service. The way we figure it, between the two of us, there isn't much we haven't done in the way home reparations. I guess we're what you would call Jacks of All Trades. So what better a business than a handyman business. We can do anything from small repairs to complete remodeling, from landscaping to welding, etc...

Our Website: (under construction)
www.AtomicHandyman.com

You can contact us by email:
Brian aka Atomic:
Atomic@AtomicHandyman.com

Joshua:
JoshuaWPenney@GMail.com

or by phone:

Brian
512,203.6944

Joshua:
512,983.0282

Even progressive people I call friends react in fear to the virus. I'm posting now because HIV/AIDS Day is Every Day! So check out these links:

"This year's World AIDS Day theme is “Live and Let Live,” focusing on ending the stigma and discrimination faced by people living with HIV and AIDS. Texas Commissioner of Health Eduardo Sanchez, M.D., said the focus on discrimination is needed.

http://www.dshs.state.tx.us/hivstd/info/e-update/20021126.shtm

http://www.aclu.org/hiv/gen/11548pub20030101.html

XO
Atomic

It's amazing how many friends I actually have. After the party the other night I was really feeling down & alone. I figured I had about 3 good friends in Austin. What I've come to realize is that they are coming out of the woodwork in my time of need. It's like certain people just know when they're needed and puff, their they are. Many of them I wasn't ready for the wisdom they had to share until recently. I am more hopeful for my future than I've ever been before.

I AM HERE TO HELP BUILD A REVOLUTON!!!
Revolution is based on courage not failure. There is only "succeed" in a revolution. I'm talking about the cultural revolution, BITCHES! Get out of your "Ivory Towers" and do something constructive.